Russell Stover Selling Chocolate Crosses To Reinforce the Real Meaning of Easter

Thanks to my best bud, Jon Fortt for pointing out this kind of disturbing story about Chocolate Easter Crosses that Russell Stover is selling just in time for Easter.

First off, let me say to Jon that I love nibbling on pagan fertility symbols. They're fantastic. But this story just reveals, I think, how people fundamentally misunderstand Christianity and think of it as a "demographic" or a "voter base" or a "market" to be exploited.

The crazy thing is, I can imagine Christian Bookstores selling these. I suppose the rationale would go something like this: if you're going to give out Easter Baskets, and you're going to eat something chocolate, might as well give your kids something that has actual significance, as opposed to little duckies.

Kind of like parents give their kids "Resurrection Baskets" instead of "Easter Baskets." I'm not sure how I feel about that. I mean, think how messy that could get. I wonder what other bad ideas Russell Stover execs turned down?

Chocolate Shrouds of Turin: made from premium white chocolate, with raspberry glazed icing.

Dark Chocolate Roman Nails: Nine-inches of melt-in your mouth goodness.

Popcorn Ball Tomb Boulders: Made from Tutti Frutti flavored popcorn, you won't need a legion of Romans to move these tasty treats off the shelves.

Judas Bag of Chocolate Coins: 30 pieces of betrayal never tasted so good.

Peeps: You know about Peep's Bunnies and Duckies, but now meet "Triple" the Marshmallow Rooster. He won't have time to crow three times, and he'll be gone by dawn.

Chocolate Hyssop Stalk: Don't offer this to anyone else, keep it for yourself and quench your own thirst for that perfect blend of award-winning chocolate and premium liquers.

I can see this as a skit.