American Voters Once Again Prove They Are Really Stupid

Bo lost.

Bo. Lost.

Of course, the word "lost" here is pretty relative. Bo lost In the same way that the NBA's second draft pick loses. Or, more pointedly, in the same way that Clay Aiken lost. Which is, of course, not really at all.

But I have to admit, I'm disappointed. It's not that I don't like Carrie - I do. It's just that I didn't want to see another really pretty girl who does power ballads win. I mean, we already have Kelly Clarkson. Let's get a long-haired rocker. You know? Even the gender would have made sense. Girl. Boy. Girl. Boy.

I'm sort of ashamed to admit it, but late Tuesday night, after I'd watched the taped hour-long show, I found out that phone lines were going to be open for four hours. So I voted for Bo.

27 times.

Apparently the margin for victory was close, but my 27 votes weren't enough to push Bo over into the "victors" column. Maybe one more call? My buddy Jonathan was saying that he believed it would be pretty easy to write a script on your computer to call the hotlline numbers automatically. I agree, and would cry "foul" on behalf of Bo's camp - that perhaps someone from Carrie's fan base devised a clever computer program to help her cheat to win. But then I realized Carrie is from Oklahoma (official motto: Does your state have a musical named after it? Does it?). I'm not even sure they have geeks in Oklahoma. DSL to them probably refers to the Dairy School Library.

Okay, that was a stupid.

I'm sorry, Bo. I feel as though I let you down. I'll make it up to you by buying your album the day it comes out and then illegally downloading Carrie's.

I promise.