Quotes: Some thoughful, some funny

Some great quotes

"Dolor temporarius. Gloria aeterna. Cicatrices virgines placent."
(Pain is temporary. Glory is eternal. Chicks dig scars.)

"Frodo failed. Bush has the Ring." - a bumper-sticker I've seen several times around town

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." -- Paul Rodriguez

"Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain

"Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan." -- A. Whitney Brown, "Daily Show" correspondent


"Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken." --Unknown, presumed deceased

"There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'" -- Dave Barry

"I heard Tom DeLay's blood was in the water and the sharks were circling him, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a metaphor." - unknown


"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror because I bet that will really throw you into a panic." -- Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts," "Saturday Night Live"

"We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." -- Anais Nin

"Creativity stimulates the creators and entertains everybody else. The vast majority of people need to be entertained. God bless them every one. Creative people, however, need to be stimulated, inspired, nudged, cross-pollinated, and occasionally kicked in the ass." -- Peter McWilliams

"La liberte d'aimer n'est pas moins sacrée que la liberté de penser." (Translation: Freedom of love is as sacred as freedom of thought) -- Victor Hugo

"And over our heads will float the blue bird
singing of beautiful and impossible things,
of things that are lovely and that never happen,
of things that are not and that should be."-- Oscar Wilde

"Forty days to our one day! Even in sin you're paying retail! Bargain with the Man!" -- Jon Stewert, "The Daily Show," just before Lent, 2003

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off." -- Bumper Sticker

"Facere quod in se est." -- A Franciscan saying, translation: "Do that which is in yourself to do."

"I'm not in denial. I'm just selective about the reality I choose to accept." -- "Calvin and Hobbes"

"This planet is obviously being used as an insane asylum by other planets." -- George Bernard Shaw

"Whoever said 'all roads lead somewhere' has never been to Arizona." -- unknown

"If Scooby Doo has taught me anything, it's that the only thing to fear is crooked real estate developers." - Lisa Simpson, "The Simpsons"


"Bush had the forethought to surround himself with intelligent people the way a hole surrounds itself with a donut."-- Dennis Miller

"Guilt is the pruning shears that society developed to keep you from becoming an even bigger asshole than you already are." -- Dennis Miller

"Whenever we see someone taking responsibility for their actions in this country we get a confused look like a person watching their cat hump a Great Dane." -- Dennis Miller

"I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." -- Manhattan Murder Mystery

"Where are all the great pot-head writers? ... There aren't any! Because no one wants to read poetry about the best Twinkie ever!" -- Dave Attell

"Few artists thrive in solitude, and nothing is more stimulating than the conflict of minds with similar interests." -- Arthur C. Clark

"An artist is a creature driven by demons. He doesn't usually know why they chose him and he's usually too busy to notice." -- William Faulkner

"Don't think! Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy. You can't try to do things. You simply must do things." -- Ray Bradbury

"Art is not a mirror. Art is a hammer." -- Bertolt Brecht