Terrible

Monday afternoon, my wife and I were going to Costco, to pick up some last minute things for Thanksgiving - which this year is going to be at our house. So yes, we willing went to Costco three days before Thanksgiving. It was like an amusement park, only with free samples. Driving home, we got off our exit and curled around our exit to be met with about 50 police cars, entirely blocking off the road that leads past the railroad tracks, under the overpass to our side street where we live.

Then I looked out and saw police tape all around the train tracks. And then I saw huge trailers and trucks, with men getting and and out of the trucks with what looked like special equipment. Here's what happened: a woman was babysitting three kids: an infant, a two-year-old and a three-year-old. She was crossing the train tracks, and apparently, went back to get the stroller, and the two-year old followed her. He was struck by the southbound train, that was going close to 70 mph.

This is the link to the news story.

You can see an explanation of how it happened in this graphic. If you don't want to, I don't blame you.

My buddy has a three-year-old daughter. And the thought of that kind of thing makes me shiver. One of the ways I process is to write, so I wanted to write about some thoughts I had.

• I was surprised how quickly I began to blame. I immediately grew furious with the babysitter. What in the heck are you doing take toddlers across railroad tracks when a train is coming? I mean, didn't you think to, oh, I don't know, have everybody sit down and hold your hand. Or instruct them about how dangerous a train is? I know the trains travel fast but they also have very loud horns. Your idiocy cost a kid their life. Why did I immediatley need to blame someone, to yell at someone, to let someone know "This is your fault!. I don't know.

• Driving off the ramp, I was annoyed that the access to my house was blocked by police cars. This was before I knew about the accident, and afterwards, I felt rather guilty for thinking that way. My first thoughts are always entirely selfish. It has been this way since I can remember.

• After learning about the accident, I thought about it for a while, but then went back to putting the pumpkin pie in the fridge and trying to find the right cables to hook my new HDTV cable box from Comcast up to my TV. The bathroom needed to be re-caulked, too. How right, the old Masters were, when they said that tragedy happens when no one is looking. What destroyed one person's world, isn't even on the radar for almost everybody else. Maybe one of the purposes of grieving with someone is to sit with them and let them know that the Universe really is out of whack right now, and I feel the grief with you.

• Driving home from church yesterday, I drove by the tracks and saw little crosses near the railway. A woman was leaning down over the tracks, sobbing. Another woman was over her, holding her. I don't know if the woman knew the child. Maybe it was the kid's mom. You might as well have driven a railway spike into her heart. But then a thought hit me. What if it was the sitter? When she went to the tracks to cry, would anyone put their arm over her and cry with her? I bet you that Jesus would have.