Why Ann Coulter’s New Book "How To Talk To A Liberal" Won’t Really Help Any Sort of Conversation: One Christian’s Response

December 27, 2004

One of the most hurtful things ever said to me was when I was in college. I was taking a course in American Political Theory with a lot of guys who would eventually go on to become lawyers and professors (not that we knew it at the time). One class I remember, the class was debating about Hoover and FDR, and I had done the reading. As the discussion went on, I felt I had something to say, so I interjected a comment that went against the main points of some of the more vocal people in the room.. A couple of people blinked, and one guy at the end of the table, a big fellow by the name of Jason Camler looked at me and said:

"Let the smart people argue, Dave."

Now, Camler was a kidder and an overall funny guy. I think he was kidding, but let me tell you, when everyone started laughing (even my close friends Neal and Angie), that really hurt. One of the most painful things in life is to have your thoughts dismissed as unimportant. Some folks say that as humans, our greatest need is to be known and loved, despite ourselves. Which means that some of our greatest fears revolve around having our thoughts or opinions rejected.

For a Christmas present from his brother, my father-in-law Rex got a book by conservative columnist Ann Coulter entitled "How to Talk to a Liberal (if you must)."

I’m mildly familiar with Ann Coulter. Her name is often mentioned in the same sentence as Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reilly and she has a large fan base of conservative folks, I guess, because her books sell very well. I read the book, mainly because I wanted to see what she had to say.

Our nation is in the middle of a real identity crisis, I think. I saw a news report the other day that said that 50 percent of Americans feel personally attacked when groups attempt to take down government Christmas decorations that have overtly religious wording. Which means, of course, that 50 percent don’t.

The debate for the next four years is going to be about values and morals and ethic, and Coulter’s readers are going to have to really communicate to…uh…whoever is the opposite of Coulter. New York Times readers, she’d probably say, or folks who read Bill Clinton’s autobiography (which is number 10 on the Best Seller List, right behind Coulter’s book, by the way).

My biggest problem with Coulter’s book is the same problem I’d have with a liberal commentator’s book. It entirely prohibits frank discussion and demonizes and ridicules those who think differently than her.

Here is the opening line of her book:

Conventional wisdom says that the best way to convert liberals is to have them move out of their parent’s homes, get a job, and start paying taxes.

Now, I’m no brilliant conversationalist, but I’m pretty sure if someone replaced the word "liberals" in that sentence with the word "Christian" or "Californian" or "male," I’d be pretty offended. Because it’s silly and not true.

Later on, she says this about liberals.

Passion you’ve got. But what… you lack is intellection, thinking things through, understanding elementary human nature, and a basic awareness of what people are like.

Okay. Now, onto her rules of engagement, when it comes to talking to liberals.

1. Don’t just give up right out of the gate: stick in there
2. Don’t be defensive, because you’re right after all
3. Outrage the enemy by telling them the truth about themselves
4. Never apologize for things you don’t need to apologize for, like
5. Never compliment a Democrat, because they will stab you in the back.
6. Never show graciousness to a Democrat, because they will stab you in the back
7. Never flatter a Democrat, because they will stab you in the back
8. Don’t succumb to liberal bribery (don’t attempt to be liked by liberals – it’s a Faustian bargain)
9. Prepare for your deepest, darkest personal secrets to becoming liberal talking points because they can’t stick with you on facts or reason

She ends her list with this quote:

To end of an optimistic note, remember there is good in everyone. Hitler didn’t smoke, for example. British traitor and spy Kim Philby had a pet fox. Even among the staunchest members of the Communist Party, there turned out to be a few good ones. Similarly the vast majority of liberals are not intentionally sabotaging the nation…This is why my personal philosophy on arguing with liberals is: tough love, except I don’t love them. In most cases, I don’t even like them. In other words, my "tough love" approach" is much like the Democrats’ "middle class tax cuts": everything but the last word.

I think most people would concede that Coulter is a funny, gifted writer who has done a great job at establishing a loyal audience who wants to read what she has to say. But as an educator, as a Christian, and as a human, I can see no benefit to any sort of book, regardless of its ideological position, that encourages those who believe the same to behave in such an indifferent, calloused and mean-spirited manner. It’s wrong because her central assertion that all of her opponents are stupid, incompetent, evil malcontents is a vast generalization that even a casual observer knows isn’t true. It’s like looking at domestic abuse numbers and coming to the conclusion that all husbands are evil, selfish, manipulative fiends.

But even if all of what Ann Coulter says is true, the way she says it isn’t.

And let me tell you, as a married person, I know that there is such a thing as winning an argument, but losing far more than you ever might have won in the process.