Cookie Monster Check Self Into Weight Loss Clinic, Admits Addiction to Carbs

First off, thanks to Rick Grucza for his sharp eye in pointing this out.

This is one of the funniest things I've read in a while.

A columnist from the Tallahassee Democrat, a guy by the name of Jonah Goldberg, went off on Sesame Street in his column. Goldberg is flaming mad that about programmer's decision to have the Cookiee Monster sing a new song, "A Cookie is a Sometimes Food" done partially to instruct children not to eat sweets all the time.

Here is what he writes:


According to the well-meaning social engineers of PBS. After three decades, they've announced he's not a Cookie Monster at all. In the interests of teaching kids not to be gluttons, CTW has transformed Cookie Monster into just another monster who happens to like cookies. His trademark song, "C is for Cookie" has been changed to "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food." And this is a complete and total reversal of Cookie Monster's ontology, his telos, his raison d'etre, his essential Cookie-Monster-ness.

If the Cookie Monster is no longer a cookie monster, what is he? Why didn't they just name him "Phil: The Monster Who Sometimes Likes to Eat a Cookie"? Cookie Monster cannot help being a Cookie Monster any more than your tabby can stop liking fish. It is their nature to do so.

Why not just declare that Big Bird is now an elm tree? If the ineffable, inexorable, immutable nature of Cookie Monster's cookie-eating can be erased for some good cause, why should Big Bird's birdness be safe?

Hahah. The column is kind of tongue-in-cheek, but I got the feeling that Goldberg was actually angry. Couple of thoughts for Mr. Goldberg.

1. Social Engineering is not a bad thing. Martin Luther King, Jr. was all about social engineering. So was Jesus, come to think of it.

2. Teaching kids not to eat a whole bunch of sweets is also not a bad thing. What better way that having the Cookie Monster awaken and cease to dwell in ignorance about the potential dangers of his dietary consumption?

3. C is for cookie. That's good enough for me.