Flavored Condoms and Lube: Not Your Typical Day in High School

This past Friday, the high school where I teach at, Gunderson High School, had an assembly for the students. It was actually a pretty cool thing. It was called Are You In An Unhealthy Relationship?. The idea was to educate young people as to the dangers of abusive or even violent dating relationships, to flag the warning signs, and to provide information and encouragement that it doesn't have to be that way.

Desperately needed on our campus, let me tell you. Probably desperately needed on every high school campus, if you ask me. We spent far too much time teaching Algebra on this campus and not nearly enough time educating our kids on stuff like "how to manage interpersonal conflict" or "how not to gossip." But this is just my opinion. The State - and probably many mathematicians - disagree with me.

At any rate, we had some students who volunteered to act out little skits and vignettes about dating abuse and violence. It was pretty realistic and pretty authentic, I felt. The kids laughed and giggled at parts, but mainly it was because they were uncomforable, I think. Or too familiar.

Anyway, after the assembly during first period, there was this group that is loosely affliliated with the one that came to talk to the kids on the campus. They're called "Our House" and it's a teenage shelter for runaways and homeless kids. They stood outside the auditorium and handed out, to any student who was interested, flavored condoms and little packets of lubrication.

Flavored condoms.

Flavored.

No information with the condoms. No materials. No explanation. No brochures, no lecture, no speeches. All the kids knew was that after they came out of an assembly which urged them to make healthy relationship decisions, they were being handed condoms.

I had a really, really weird reaction to this. I seriously wanted to grab a whip and drive these people away from the school. From my kids.

I pulled who I assumed to be the leader aside.

"What are you doing?" I asked her. "Do you really think this is a good idea?"

"Anything that helps prevent STDs or pregnancy is a good measure," she said.

"Flavored condoms?" I said, incredulously. "This is not candy. Do you realize what message you're sending our kids and how confusing and destructive it is? Do you?"

Thankfully, our AP Frank Perez came and quickly kicked "Our House" off campus. They happened to be in violation of District Policy. Even if they weren't, they're in violation of not using their heads.

The whole thing got me thinking about why I about blew my lid. I guess the main reason is that I care about my kids, and these idiots from "Our House" were sending messages that were entirely destructive. On my school. To my kids.

I don't know how I feel about handing out condoms at school or hospitals. On one hand, it is a medical issue, and there are health issues here. And I suppose if I'm against teenage pregnancy, then I should be in favor of anything that prevents that. And I am, I guess, for the most part.

But teen sex is not just a medical issue.

And this is where I get the most frustrated. There needs to be 100 people handing out pamphlets about PSI, postponing sexual involvment. We should be holding assemblies and doing all that at EVERY school talking about how teenagers should simply not be having sex. There is no good reason for a teenager in high school to have sex. None. And we need to be frank and honest and talk about how destructive it can be.

I think next year, I'm going to see what I can do to get an assembly that addresses this on Gunderson's campus. Maybe hold a forum, or something, or invite a few guest speakers.

There's too much compartmentalization here. People treat teenage sex like it is either a spiritual issue (for youth groups to deal with) or a medical one (for the school nurse to deal with). It's neither and it's both.

I don't know how I feel. On one hand, I desperately want people to be whole and to live good lives. And it makes me feel weird when I hear that Kaiser Permanente has a program where you can go to any Kaiser and turn in a needle and get a clean one for free.

Doesn't someone need to say, "Uhh, okay, here's your needle, and here's a tag. Put this on your toe because if you keep doing that stuff, you're going to be in our morgue downstairs."

You know? What do you think?