Day of the Teacher Is Over; Please Don't Ruin Things For Teachers By Giving Them Gifts and Presents

Every year, as you might remember, it's kind of customary for parents to give a gift to their child's teacher. It's kind of a way of saying, "Thanks for tolerating my child for an entire year and not killing him or her."

My mom used to get so much crap, you wouldn't even believe it. Of course, my mom was a good teacher. Now that I've been in the school system, I know what a big deal it is to win a District-wide award like "Teacher of the Year." And my mom won that award. If it sounds like I'm kind of bragging a little bit, well I am.

I was reading a story about a rather affluent neighborhood in Florida where parents got together and each contributed 75 bucks (voluntarily) for a 2nd grader's classroom teacher. Times 30. They sent her and her husband on a two-week Mediterranean cruise.

I think this is an evil practice and must be stopped.

That kind of generosity is going to destroy the concept of the over-worked, under-paid mentality that teachers thrive on. We don't have that much - don't ruin it by giving us lavish gifts and nice things. And my goodness, showing appreciation like that strikes at one of the bedrock self-conceptions of teachers. We desire to be seen as doing what we do for no other reason than vast selflessness. We are patient beings, the fruit of whose labor is often not seen until later generations. Immediate acts of gratitude totally ruins that, people.

Additionally, that kind of action takes away from bargaining leverage. Your union rep will be sitting at the table across from the evil Board of Education members and how is that rep going to explain away the kind of "invisible compensation" that parents like you have been giving to your child's teacher. As a result, your foolish kindness could cause teachers to lose salary, have their health benefits cut in half, or have their class size explode to more than 48 kids per room.

All because you thought that Teddy Bear from Hallmark or that Diamond Tennis Bracelet from Kay's Jewelers looked cute.

So before you give a gift or a thank you note to your teacher or your child's teachers, ask yourself this question: Do I really want undermine this teacher's entire self-concept and destroy the delicate self-pity ecosytem by an act of generosity.

No.

The answer is no.

p.s. I like the VW Touareg and the SLK convertible. And the Toyota Sienna, which scored a perfect 5 in safety and impact protection in Consumer Report's 2005 Car Buying Guide.