The Power of Before and After

I want to share with you an email that I just wrote to one of my former teaching colleagues at Gunderson High School. I share this because it’s a pretty remarkable story.

Hey Ron,

I am writing this email as a proxy for one of the young men I have been working with in our college and young adults group.

This young man was a former student at Gunderson. Unfortunately, after his time in high school, his life spiraled downward and he became quite addicted to drugs, including meth, which took a hold of his life. He is now sober for a number of months and is actively involved in Narcotics Anonymous, and is going through his 12-step program for the second time. He's making much progress.

Step 8 in the 12 steps, as you may know is the following:

I will make a list of all persons I have harmed, and I will become willing to make amends to them all.

At any rate, in searching through his past, this young man remembers being in your class and was upset with you, for some reason or another, and he saw that you had a bongo, or a small drum of some sort. And this young man stole the bongo. He now, some years later, wants to return the bongo, apologize to you for that act, and ask for your forgiveness.

I wanted to know if you would prefer the young man to do that in the form of a letter (from a distance) and have me return the drum to you, or if you would want him to return it to you in person.

I hope all is going well for you at Gunderson.

Thanks for your time,
DAT

I called and talked to Ron after I sent him this email, and his response was pretty shocking. Ron had a long history at Gunderson of being one of the sternest disciplinarians on campus. I half expected him to react in anger when I told him, something like, “Oh so finally! I find out who stole my drum! I’m going to call the cops!”

But his reaction wasn’t like that. He was floored. He stammered on the phone.

“I just can’t believe this,” he said. “I have never heard of something like this. I just can’t believe it.”

And it wasn’t because Ron was finally getting his drum back, after several years. It was because Ron was seeing first-hand the most important and awe-inspiring thing a human can ever witness – a changed heart.

You see, people don’t change. The older you and I get, the more we become who we are. We are like cement – the older we get, the more formed in our rigidity we are. Character defects that have been given space and permission in our lives harden. Virtues that have gone unpracticed slip away.

There’s even a few colloquial sayings about this — about how a leopard can’t change it’s spots, and how old dogs don’t learn new tricks.

But all that changes when Jesus gets a hold of a human heart. When God has the chance to really, truly get into someone’s heart, well, all bets are off. Hardened hearts change their tune, selfishness turns into selflessness and love of sin turns to repentance. In the words of a former slave owner who turned into an abolitionist – I once was lost, but now I’m found.

And this is what Jesus is all about. His life was one big lesson on how to connect with God in a way that will entirely transform us. This is a dangerous journey. In the words of the poet W.H. Auden – “We would rather be destroyed than change.”

But changing is what we must do if we are to ever grow.